A Word on Audacity

Audacity—my first positive exposure to this word was in Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way, a book that opened my brain up to all the truths my heart instinctively understood.  Until I read The Artists Way, which by the way, is a book every person seeking greater creativity in their life should read, I thought of audacity in the typical sense.  Outraged expressions like, “Hmmph, the AUDACITY!” flooded my mind.  Images of rude people overstepping their boundaries swirled around in my head.  It is unfortunate that the word has gotten such a bad rap, as it is an essential quality in moving forward as a creative being.Most of us have this voice inside of us, some call it an Inner Critic, others “the voice of reason” which is not reason at all but a voice that intends to keep us on a track of conformity.  When we begin to entertain thoughts of pursuing our creative passions in any way more purposeful than a casual hobby, this voice almost inevitably speaks up, “Who do you think you are?  You are not an artist. You are a  (insert current occupation here).”  For whatever reason this voice wants to keep us in our place.  If we are ever going to break out of that mindset, we are going to require audacity.  Not dirty word audacity, but faith and hope and belief that we can be whomever we desire to be, that we can create a life of our own choosing instead of one imposed on us by others.

I could not possibly rebuke this inner critic any better than with this quote by Marianne Williamson.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. 

This quote implies that our inner critic is motivated out of fear.  And so it chastises us for daring to have a dream, for daring to hope for a better life for ourselves.  But this lack of audacity does not serve us.  It does help us to illuminate the world with our individual dreams and talents.  Audacity is not a dirty word, but simple confidence to step forward and play your part.  Audacity is not the arrogant act we like to think it is, but an act of humble submission to be whom you were created to be in order to bless the world with what was yours to give.

So the next time you are feeling forced onto a path that is not for you, a simple “No thank you. I have my own plans” will suffice. And when your bully (the person who is only looking out for your best interest) says “Hmph! The Audacity!”  Give them a simple nod and say, “Why, yes. Yes, it is audacity, thank you for noticing.”

The Love Letter. . . Ten Truths to Change Your Life

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073BYXQG

I published my first e-book to Kindle today!!!  Yipppeeeeeeeee!

A little over a year ago, I was writing in my journal.  I was struggling with life and finances and purpose and whether God gave a rats ass about any of it and I cried out.  A simple little desperate prayer asking God what I should write next.  At the time, I was working on a few juvenile fiction projects but was desperately needing a change.  I asked and within a few moments, just a few rambling sentences later, something overtook me and I began to write what would become The Love Letter–Ten Truths to Change Your Life.

It just started bubbling out and I would sit and write until I felt finished for the day and the next morning I would sit down and it would begin to pour out again.  It was lovely, really.  I believe God was writing a love letter to me and through me, encouraging me in all the things my head knew to be true, but my heart hadn’t really held onto yet.  And that is what The Love Letter is–an encouraging word for lost souls.

Sometimes, we lose ourselves and the truth in the worries of this world and we need gentle reminders that the God of the universe loves us and is looking out for us, that He created us and called us to a specific purpose, and that, if we will allow Him, He will help us to walk out that purpose.

For some reason, lies about ourselves and our lives are easy for us to believe.  Sometimes, we have a lot more faith that things are hopeless that we do in hope.  But for every lie that leaves you feeling unloved and insignificant, there is a truth that will dispel that lie.  These are the truths that are becoming a part of me, these are the truths shared in The Love Letter and these are the truths that I hope we can all hold onto and never let go.

If you are in a place where you could just use a little encouragement, you need to be reminded that there is hope and that you were created to be blessed and to be a blessing to others, this little book of encouragement is for you.  The Love Letter—Ten Truths to Change Your Life is available exclusively on Amazon as a Kindle book for the next ninety days, it is free to Kindle’s Prime Readers and only $2.99 for everyone else.   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073BYXQG

 

 

Falling In Love

I’m falling in love.  Deep, desperate, inescapable, wrap-me-in-your-arms, this-is-all-I’ll-ever-need LOVE. It struck me this morning as my mind lingered on the most lovely book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, that every artist must fall deeply and passionately in love with their art.  And I also realized, that I, who had called myself a writer for a while now, and yet secretly felt an impostor, was falling in love.  Perhaps I should say, back in love, for I’ve known this passion for books before. When I was around ten I couldn’t imagine anything as glorious as a book.  I read literally day and night and could think of nothing more wonderful than reading.  And so I have always thought of myself as a lover of books, but over time, through my teens and then college, there were so many other distractions, I didn’t realize I had let the fires slowly die.

Through my twenties and even thirties, I was swept up in the busy-ness of motherhood and career.  I still categorized myself as a book-lover and would occasionally binge on the latest fiction pleasure but spent most of my reading time (which was honestly limited) reading  non-fiction “Help!-I-Don’t-Know-What -the-Hell-I’m-Doing” books, which probably saved my sanity more than once.  But still… nothing can replace a really great story.
 
I have suffered a bit of guilt at the disproportionate amount of reading to writing I have done the last year.  I have read a minimum of two books a week while I haven’t completed one big writing project in the entire year.  I have been riddled with guilt until I got knocked in the head by the love dart today.  I realized that if my participation with literature was limited to an audience member, a spectator, a reader, then I could be content as long as the books were deeply satisfying books to read.  The thought made me sad.  I did n’t like the idea of limiting my participation to reading literature instead of writing it, but I realized that I love the written word with such a ferocity that if this was all that I could have of it, I could be at peace with that.  

For me, this is huge. It means that I love literature more than I love my personal ambitions.  It is the artistic equivalent of “if you love something, set it free”.  I feel I have freed my love, my art, in hopes that I might someday have it in a deeper way.  I know this all sounds silly.  It is hard to capture those “revelation” moments.  I often default to “the clouds parted, the angels sang, and in that moment, she understood true love.”  No one can ever accuse me of denying my dramatic side.

So if this love of writing comes back to me (which it seems I can see it through the fog, running into my arms once again) then it will be one of the most lovely things to ever happen.  If not, can you recommend a good book?  ;)

3 Sentiments You Will Never Say Again

If you wish to be a creator and live the creative life, there are a few sentiments you must banish from your mind and your vocabulary.  

“I can’t”

“I’m just not creative.”

“You’re so creative!!  I could NEVER do that!”

 OK, so you don’t want to stop appreciating and encouraging others in their creative endeavors, but what is this load of crap that you could NEVER do that!?  Of course you can.  This is particularly annoying when it is said about something like crocheting or some other craft, because everyone can learn these crafts.  They simply have to be willing to invest themselves and take the time to learn.  I would much much prefer people to simply be honest and say, “I don’t have the time or patience to invest myself into learning that.”  Fine, fair enough.  But don’t lie to yourself and say you could never do it.

 It is a little more understandable when one is standing before some incredible painting or sculpture and they do not have a history of talent in said areas; but still, the words “I could NEVER do that!” are like a death sentence.  They imply, “I’m never going to try.  Even though I love art, and I love what I see here, I am not going to try and find my passion.  I could just NEVER do that!”

AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHH! Stop it already.  People, stop investing so much of yourselves into resisting following a creative path and instead embark upon the journey.  The creative life is a journey, a process, a wonderful adventure in learning, discovery, failure, and victory.  And it is one of the most fun and rewarding paths you could take.  Be bold.  Next time, instead of saying, “I could NEVER do that!”  Say, “HOW did you do that?  I want to learn.”  and then go CREATE! Instead of saying “I can’t” consider the possibilities.  Say “I wonder if I could do that.” You have suddenly opened up a whole new world with the simple act of wondering.  Instead of repeating to yourself again and again, “I’m not creative, I wish I were, but I’m just not creative.” realize that this is a lie.  You might not be a renaissance painter. Fine.  Who cares?  Not many of us are.  But this does not mean you are not creative.  Everyone is creative.  If you have ever stood in front of a sparsely stocked cabinet and figured out a meal to feed yourself, you are creative.  If you have ever hit a road block and found your way around, you are creative.  The trick is channeling your creativity into a direction that brings you a sense of joy and accomplishment.

 We are living in an age of creative revolution.  People who a few years ago thought they didn’t have a creative bone in their bodies are recycling bicycles inner-tubes into jewelry and wallets.  People are looking at old things that would otherwise be trash, like the infamous plastic grocery bag, and are finding ways to turn them into “yarn” and make handbags. I’m not arguing with you here and insisting that inside of you is another Monet.  We don’t need another Monet.  Monet did a fine job of being Monet.  I am arguing that if you have inside of you a desire to create, then you have inside you the ability.  

Creativity is a journey into yourself, into finding your way of making something old, new again.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself and don’t be afraid of making “bad art”. Just MAKE art.  We all make “bad art” sometimes.  It is how we learn to make “good art” and who the heck really has the right to define art as good or bad, anyway.  Some of the greatest artists of all time were said to make “bad art” by the critics of their time.  Just dare to create.   Find your way of doing and making art.  You will never regret it.

Thank You, Mr. Markham

I think as small children we begin collecting truth, or I know at least I did.  We hear a story, we see a man speaking on TV, we read a poem and we think, “Yes, that’s true.  I believe that.”  And I’m not talking here about “true” as in “fact”.  Sometimes the truth and the facts can be very different matters indeed.  I am talking about truth that rises out of the deep place in your soul.  Truth that wraps itself around you and makes you feel secure.  Truth that is light and beauty and peace.  Truth that when all is silent and hushed and your mind is still, will rise up and present itself to you.  One of those for me is this:

“There is a destiny

that makes us brothers,

None goes his way alone.

All that we send

into the lives of others,

Comes back into our own.”

 I think my dad had a plaque with that on it when I was first learning to read.  I remember absorbing it into my very being.  I remember knowing, recognizing it immediately as truth.  I remember reciting it until it was stored in the deep recesses of my mind.  And now thirty some years later, when I am still and all is quiet, those precious words will rise up out of me.  I might even say them out loud.  They are a deep truth that lives with me and comforts me and reminds me what is important.  Another treasure that I learned a little later in my formative years was this one:

“He drew a circle that shut me out,

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win;
We drew a circle that took him in.”

Isn’t that just grand?  Love wins.  I knew it when I was young and my aging heart still knows it to be true.  Love always wins.  I recently learned that these two nuggets of truth I have carried with me through life were written by the same man.  A man whose name I was too young to remember or take notice of when I first discovered his work, but now, my spirit thanks for pointing me to the truth my heart was searching for.  For taking the time to put words to paper that would lift a young girls spirits decades later.  Edwin Markham was the author and a great American Poet who lived from 1852 to 1940. Upon discovering this, I found a few more  of Markham’s nuggets.  One that was particularly comforting as I recover in the wake of failure was this:   “Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.”  Of course I know he is right and so the words gently swab away a little of the shame of defeat I’ve been wading through.

But this one. . . this one captured me.  It held me in its grasp like his other words read so many years ago.

“Ah, great it is to believe the dream

as we stand in youth by the starry stream;

but a greater thing is to fight life through

and say at the end, the dream is true!”

I think my heart hopes for this more than anything else.  That these dreams that have captured me and won’t let me lead a life of mediocrity, or consumerism, are true. (You know the kind of “true” I’m talking of here.)  And so, Mr. Edwin Markham, your words made my heart cry out a response.  It is a feeble attempt at weaving words compared to your work, but it is my feeble attempt and it is my response.

Oh let my dreams be of this. . .
Of loving you
Of our first sweet kiss
Of telling a story
A story that’s true
Of following dreams
Hand in hand with you.
Of loving our children
And letting them know
Passions worth fighting for
And to NEVER LET GO
Making art matters
Loving others does too
For  life is a story
Hand-written by you
In all things and all ways
Let me be a light
Overcoming darkness
Can’t give up the fight
And when death comes calling
To gently tuck me in
May I have been, if nothing else,
A very good friend.

Clean Slate

I have put a lot of pressure on my creative self.  I know not everyone reading this will be expecting their art to support them or have this looming desire to change the world with their art. But some of you do have the same expectations of your creative selves and so this is for you.  The best advice I could probably give us is to lighten up, don’t expect so much so fast.  But since you and I both know that some days we simply don’t have that much control over our own brains, here is another thing to think on.

Every day is a clean slate.  I have a flare for drama and so when I start to feel weighed down because I haven’t been consistent enough with my writing or I’m not seeing the return I want for my work, I begin a downward spiral into the abyss of hopelessness.  I simultaneously lose grasp on reality, am overcome with overwhelming hopelessness, and begin to have panic attacks, not in the actual medical sense, it’s just my brain frantically saying things to me like, “My God, Missy, what have you done?”  I feel riddled with nervousness.  And then I begin the process of talking myself down off the ledge.  “It’s OK, Missy.  So, you haven’t written like you wanted this month. . .OH, OK! So you haven’t written AT ALL this month, today is a brand new day.  You have a choice to write down words or be overcome by the swirling mass of accusatory words accosting your mind.  Choose to write, Missy. You can do it.  Today is a brand new day.”

Well, it’s not exactly like that.  I rarely call myself by my first name.  In case you could n’t tell, this is one of those days.  Those days where I feel like an utter failure as an artist.  But what can I do?  All I can do is keep moving forward.  Never give up.  And remember, every day is a clean slate.  What beautiful creative mess am I going to make on my slate today?!

Warning Signs

Every artist has warning signs that rear their ugly heads when we are not on track with God’s purpose for our lives.  One biggie is a critical spirit.  Most of us have a bend toward criticism.  People with vision have an opinion of how things should be.  People of vision also often feel the freedom to criticize how others are implementing their visions.

When a musician is constantly critical of other people’s music, it is a red flag that they are not doing enough with their own music.  The same goes for writers, visual artists, etc.  Typically, the artist who are putting themselves out there, who have made themselves vulnerable by being brave and tenacious enough to make art and let that art be seen by others, are the most gracious.  Critical spirits fly out the window when you make yourself vulnerable.  When you know the feeling of pouring yourself into something and then sharing it with the world.  When you’ve experienced the criticism of unfulfilled artists yourself, you cease to be as critical of others.

If you find yourself constantly in the judgement seat of others it is probably time to stop and examine your own artistic life.  Are you going for it or playing it safe?  Be brave!  You can do it.  Your art does make a difference.  You make a difference.

Don’t be a critic.

Be a creator!

Make Art!!

Open the Door!

When I was in high school I wrote a little poem about courage.  The last line was something like  ”Courage is only fear, that has rightly said its prayers.”  I guess I was thinking on the future, afraid of where it might take me and I had the deep revelation that when fear prays, it leads to courage.  I was fairly tickled with myself and my seeming originality, and then years later I came across a quote from world renown poet Maya Angelou, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”  and another similar quote by silent film star Dorothy Bernard.  ”Well, I may not always be original,” I thought “but I’m in good company!”

C.S. Lewis wrote “Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.”  It is easy to get hung up on originality.  Blocked, afraid . . . “Well, if I can’t be original, I guess I won’t say anything at all.”  I remember the first time I read Solomon’s words “There is nothing new under the sun,” it was so damn discouraging.  Right there in the Holy Bible, words encouraging me to give up.  After all, if there is nothing new, why even try?  And then eventually, I got over myself and realized that it’s not all about me.  We are but messengers.  We each have the opportunity to carry hope or despair.  The basket we carry it in is a bit irrelevant.   Originality is over-rated, but hope springs eternal.

I know so many people who are so fixated on the impossibilities of this world.  Eyes constantly focused on the difficulties, the obstacles, the roadblocks.  Eyes so fixated on hopelessness that they become blind to the doors of opportunity before them and I want to scream, “Open your eyes!!  Look!  It’s a door . . . a window. . . a way . . . a hope!!!”  But they turn their back to the door and preach a message of hopelessness.  ”You probably couldn’t ever make it as a film-maker anyway,”  they counsel their aspiring young artist.  They preach this impossibility to others “for their own good”.  But this kind of fear spreading does no one any good.  Stop being a mouthpiece for fear.  Stop believing more in the darkness of this world than in the light who created this world.

And so I come to you today, and I say if you have a dream, keep looking for the door!  If you have a love, pursue it do the death.  If you have a hope, then you are richer than kings and queens because with that one little hope, you, my friend,  can keep moving forward.  You can believe.  And to those who have been spreading a gospel of fear, I implore you.  Stop being afraid. Take your fear by the hand and teach it to pray.  Turn around.  Find the door.  Turn the knob. And walk into the light.  The light is for all of us.  Today can be a brand new day and a doorway into a brand new life.  Dare to believe.

Being GREAT!

“Life is not about doing something great.  It’s about BEING great . . . being someone whom others are better off for having known.  THIS is changing your world.”

I often wax poetically about changing your world because at my very core I believe in each of us taking individual responsibility for making this planet a great place to live.  This means being patient in traffic, being kind to the frazzled grocery store checker, being kind to your children, being kind . . . period!

My husband stayed up the other night and watched Philosopher Kings, a documentary about university janitors.  I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to his steady gaze as he lay on his side with his head rested on his hand, smiling down at me.  I smiled groggily up at him.  I could tell he wanted to talk.  He began to recount the documentary, moved by the humility and simple wisdom of these people who spent their lives tirelessly serving others.  And I, Miss Change-Your-World, You-Have-To-Do-Something-Great-Before-You-Die, was struck by the simple truth that there are so many amazing individuals who will probably not go down in the history books for ending world hunger, or be credited for single-handedly ushering in world peace, but who  change my world by simply being the kind of people who bring encouraging words or interesting conversation with them wherever they go.  And in the darkness of the night I scrawled into the little quote book I keep on my bedside table, “It’s not about doing something great.  It’s about BEING great . . . being someone whom others are better off for having known.  This is changing your world.”

And somehow, this was really encouraging to me. In general, I feel this overwhelming call to do something BIG (and I intend to, just as soon as I know what this big, great thing is) but in the meantime, I will do small things in the GREATEST way I can.  I will take my place beside great people like Helen Keller who said in, I suspect, a similar moment of revelation to my own,   “I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”